Before I was really aware of my interest and gift (is it a bit bold that I use this term myself? LOL) in coaching, many of my friends would like to share their life problems with me and seek my comments and advice. I was surprised that they are of different personalities, different occupations and different social statuses. Some of them were much more successful, affluent and mentally stronger than me!
I was not playing the savior role and giving them absolute advice or instructions. What I did was asking them questions to know more about their ways of thinking, how they got to reach their current conclusions, what the issues really meant to them, etc. Interestingly, most of their or our initial assumptions or perceptions were always overridden or adjusted in certain extent after some in-depth discussion.
People are deceived by themselves too easily. We need to pay some effort to be clear about what our genuine feelings, desires and reasons behind are.
Deep conversations do help a lot. I don’t mean you must hire a coach right now! A good life coach would certainly serve this purpose and bring you to the next level. Yet, you need to know that you already have a perfect life coach inside. Self talk can do something your physical life coach can’t (and yes, vice versa as well) because your conscious and subconscious mind know you best in the world. However, having a positive and constructive self talk requires some skills and practices. Before that and even after you’ve mastered self talk, I suggest that you also talk to some other people. It’s not a matter of seeking or giving advice, but when you either question others’ issues or answer others’ questions, your thoughts will simply get clarified naturally. If possible, find someone who is willing to listen to, think through and question about your words.
I will further discuss about how such a conversation will be like and what kind of questions should be asked later. Now, find an opportunity to try out this kind of Q&As with yourself or your friends. Just pretend that you don’t understand the issue, question it thoroughly. Use different methods including suppositions, analogy, examples, etc. to question the details and respond to the questions. You will learn something.
P.S. Gradually, I noticed that my friends and I had gained a lot through our conversations. I want to extend this kind of conversation of personal growth to a larger group of people, that’s why I choose to become a life coach. 🙂